i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Jerry, you need to find god
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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