hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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