I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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