Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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