She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
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Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
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I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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