You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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