There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize