Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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