Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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