Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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