Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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