I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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