I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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