well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Mom said you looked used
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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