you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize