Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
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I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
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Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize