idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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