okay pat passed out under dana's car
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
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It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
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sick fucks of a feather flock together
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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