Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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