They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize