Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my shit smells like andre
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize