literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize