i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
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Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He has the fingertips of a God
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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