I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If I die, sorry about rent.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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