apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize