Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize