I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize