I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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