Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize