i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize