I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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