I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize