So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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