Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's never too late to be topless.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize