as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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