Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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