I'm so fucking centered right now
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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