Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
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I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
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It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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