I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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