So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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