Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize