It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize