But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
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I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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