My first STD was from a foam party
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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