I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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