The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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