if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
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if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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