My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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