Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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