I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize